Tag Archives: grateful

thursday’s musing…

“my life isn’t perfect, but it does have perfect moments” ~ Unknown ~
Indeed it does.. so many perfect moments..
this is what I try to hold on to. 

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friday’s musings…

Happy Friday all.. it’s been quite a week but I’m sitting on the porch,
sipping coffee and listening to the birds
while the smell of the woods and flowers surround me..
truly healing.

Posted in being grateful, Black and White Also tagged , , |

thursday’s musings…

on and on it goes…

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thursday’s musings…

working hard at being present
to witness all I can.
appreciating all the while
even when sickness takes over,
my heart is full.

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monday musings…

i had the wonderful opportunity to attend the women’s March here in augusta, me. on the 21st of january. For sure i physically payed for it but my heart needed it. i was able to get a few images of this amazing group of humans.. the love i felt, the love and warmth we all felt, cannot be understated. 

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kitten…

I’ve been pretty fortunate to have gotten to spend the last 4 days with this lovely creature.. she has accompanied me to my last few Dana Farber’s appts over the last month and I’m feeling pretty darn thankful for her and her support.. tomorrow she is moving to DC.. I’ll miss seeing her as often but pretty excited for her as she starts her new life.

image-2

Posted in iPhone Moments Also tagged , |

home…

Home, it’s where I spend the majority of my time. At the worst of times, which is few and far between, it can feel like a prison, but most of the time it is my sanctuary. It’s where I can find peace and tranquility. Sometimes I find that when I do go out for an errand or two I start feeling the need to get back to my deep red and forest green trimmed circa 1895 home. To the safety of the red and yellow painted, horsehair plaster walls with the old wooden floor boards that are long past needing to be refinished. The heavy doors that grow swollen and don’t close so well after a few days of rain and humidity in the Spring and Summer months. To all the original six pane windows that are always a pain in the ass to weatherize every winter but looks so marvelous when the summer morning light comes shining through the old as the hills warped glass (FYI, a show on a home show this is how you know the glass is old and people actually go looking for these panes of glass for their renovations and look to see if they are warped, strange things). All the “imperfections” that some other people would replace, I find to be romantic and charming and it is my house’s character. Who am I to change that. It’s why I have an old house.

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To keep my company in said house I have 3 cats and 2 dogs and my mother who moved in with me some years back and at times my newly graduated (May 19th) with highest honors (So fucking proud) daughter when she comes home to visit. But mostly, it’s my pets, my buds, my rescues who are here with me 24/7. All the best friends a gal could ask for. They are forever by my side and always never fail entertain me or at least invoke a smile when I would least expect it. They provide comfort and solace. They don’t mind when I’m sick and they won’t ask more of me then I can give. They know when I need to rest, which is quite often, and will rest by my side with their head on my lap either purring or snoring, but seemingly very content to just be.  They share my couch (sometimes barely enough room for me), they share my bed, yes, Beansy and Cinna will even get under the covers and sleep with me. When I walk into a different room a four legged friend is sure to follow, this includes the bathroom where I don’t even bother to close the door anymore since one of them will inevitably push it open and sit to watch me do what ever it is I am doing. This can be awkward when guests come over since I have to warn them the door will push open, even if you close it, it won’t stay closed if they push on it, I think the’ve rigged it somehow. This could explain why I don’t get many guests.. 🙂

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Its been hard at times to keep my home.  Cancer can really f*** up your financial situation. Indefinitely I might add. There were a few times over the last three years I thought I would have to sell my home, at a loss, mind you. Luckily, I was able to keep it going. I’ve been lucky with a loving community and generous friends. I never know how I will keep it all going but I will always keep fighting to save my home. My house. My sanctuary. It’s here I feel the safest. Maybe most people feel that way about their house. I’m not sure. I’ve never really asked anyone that question. I remember when I first walked inside my house, over 10 years with my real estate agent. We had to walk up the not plowed long, steep driveway ( I just thought they didn’t feel like doing it, boy was I wrong) in the middle of a zero degree fahrenheit day. Not fun. However, as soon as I stepped inside the door I knew it was home. It wasn’t the very many Santa’s that filled all the nooks and corners of the shag carpeted rooms, or the brass chandelier hanging in the kitchen, decor definitely not my style. It was the couple who spent the past 30 years here raising their family and all their love that warmed my cold hands, feet and yes, heart, that day. I just knew as soon as I walked in, that this house has a soul and for lack of better words, it had good juju. I knew this back then and I still know it and feel it today. Most especially of the last three years since quite a lot of the time I’m sick here in my home but I know that this wonderful nest I have nurtured and cared for and have fought so hard to keep has healed me more then I could ever have imagined and I believe  will continue to do so as long as we take care of each other.

~ peace ~

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Blessed…

It’s been a long road but I’m feeling extremely blessed and grateful for the people in my life, especially my Love. Thank you for everything..

Posted in My words Also tagged , |

Thursday Thoughts…


  • “When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
    I was a bride married to amazement.
    I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

    When it is over, I don’t want to wonder
    if I have made of my life something particular, and real.
    I don’t want to find myself sighing and frightened,
    or full of argument.

    I don’t want to end up simply having visited this world.”

    ~ Mary Oliver ~

Posted in Quotes Also tagged , |

Happy Birthday Shelly!

Earlier this week was my good friend’s birthday and we had two celebrations. This one was with her family and I felt honored to be there to capture some special moments.
She is a lovely person and has been there with me all along my second round of chemo and through my stem cell transplant till now. I can’t imagine my life without her in it. Happy Birthday Shelly!

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