Tag Archives: living in the moment

monday’s musing…

“I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart”
~ Vincent Van Gogh ~

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thursday’s musings…

on and on it goes…

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thursday’s musings…

working hard at being present
to witness all I can.
appreciating all the while
even when sickness takes over,
my heart is full.

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monday’s musings..

waking up to who you are
requires letting go of who
you imagine yourself to be
~ Alan Watts ~

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thursday’s thoughts…

“you are not too old 
and it is not too late
to dive into your increasing depths 
where life calmly gives out 
it’s own secret”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~

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Posted in iPhone Moments, Quotes Also tagged |

new year…

this past year certainly has been one of the more challenging ones.. or least it felt that way.. which is odd given that over the last few years i’ve fought cancer. twice and had a stem cell transplant in 2012 which entailed a year of strict rules i had to live by and the fear of getting sick. however this past year of 2013.. i had a lot of set backs.. maybe that is why it was harder.. i was expected to be better, to try to resume some normal activities… it didn’t workout that way. Between the chronic gvhd and the meds to help counteract that I ended up being sicker then i had been in a long time.

 late this past year i found out i will need surgery. probably won’t be for a few months yet. its not cancerous just related to my chronic gvhd. its not going to be a pleasant surgery, not that they are normally and i will need some recovery time but hopefully it will put me on my way to feeling better.

I will say that while it some ways it wasn’t the best of years in other ways it was. i had some very unexpected generosity from the church we belong to and some kind people who went over and above to do some incredibly nice things for me and i will be forever grateful.

My beautiful daughter also graduated from college.. with highest honors.. that was a pretty damn special day.

my french love was extremely supportive and given the circumstances with having a long distance relationship, was always there for me with multiple daily Skype video chats to texting and gifts in the mail. i certainly wasn’t my best at times and he never judged me and gave me the leeway i needed. we got to spend some long periods of time together which greatly helped my mental state. the last visit being just a week ago during christmas time. both he and hayley were home for christmas and him for new years.

having him leave again and having hayley back down in dc has been a bit hard but i feel i have some new albeit, simple goals to focus on. i’ve already realized i need to go back to my old motto of living in the moment. i no longer can trust the future in the sense of assuming i will be at a certain place in my life. doesn’t mean i’m not positive, i am and i still believe and knowing if i  continue to believe, even if sometimes its harder then other times, positive things will happen.

  i only have now and now is what i need to focus on and hope to prepare myself for what ever the future holds. moment by moment, day by day.

 

Posted in My words

simplicity…

yesterday i had the pleasure of having a friend i hadn’t seen in a long time come over.
it also gave me the opportunity to bake some homemade blueberry/lemon scones
was nice to catch up with future dates of movies and more visiting

such simple pleasures
really enjoying living in these moments

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Posted in My words

everyday…

every day i need to write
every day i need to find ways to be creative
every day i need to find inspiration
every day i need to be in the moment

to be

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a moment …

“The moment one gives close attention to anything,
even a blade of grass,
it becomes a mysterious, awesome,
indescribably magnificent world in itself.”
~ Henry Miller ~

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Posted in Quotes Also tagged |

3 years.. still going strong…

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

~ Douglas Adams ~

Three years ago today I was diagnosed with cancer. The above quote pretty much sums up these last three years. I can honestly say my life has been turned upside down. I’m just happy that while the journey was at times pretty painful the outcome thus far is pretty damn nice. Thanks to all who have been there and stayed by my side.. literally and figuratively. FUcancer.

3 years

Posted in Quotes, The diagnosis - cancer Also tagged |